Monday, August 22, 2011

Pretty Awesome

Mom: How was your first day of school?

Grant: It was pretty awesome.

Mom: That's great! What did you do?

Grant: Well, we mostly learned about rules. But we also made a sculpture out of marshmallows. It was supposed to be something that we liked.

Mom: Oh yea. What did you make?

Grant: A single-celled organism.

Mom: A single-celled organism? Really? What did the other kids make?

Grant: Well, Jake made a football. And Cambria made an iPhone. And Scott made an army guy. And Lucas made a DS or something like that.

Mom: And you made a single-celled organism?

Grant: Yea. Like an amoeba or like when a baby is first made. You know, when it's a single cell.

Mom: A zygote.

Grant: Yea, like that.

Mom: (laughing)

Grant: Why is that funny? I like science. It's the best way to describe me.

Mom: That's why I'm laughing. Other kids made footballs and iPhones and you made a single-celled organism. It's just funny. Good funny. Like the funniest and best thing I've heard all day.

Grant: You're weird.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

For my teacher friends...

I love this clip of Matt Damon defending teachers to a reporter from Reason TV. I'm sure you've already seen it but watch it again anyway. You tell 'em Will Hunting.

How ya like them apples?

Friday, July 22, 2011

La la la, di da da

While at the store Piano Man started playing on the overhead speakers. I did like an other red-blooded American would do. I started singing. Grant gave me a look. You know the look . The one that says PLEASE STOP EMBARRASSING ME. I kept singing.

"Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke but there's someplace that he'd rather be."

Grant: MOM.

Me: Dude, it's Billy Joel. Piano Man! I think it's some kind of rule or something that you have to sing it out loud.

Grant: You are so weird.

Me: Sing us a song, you're the Piano Man. Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're in the mood for a melody. And you've got us feelin' alright.

Now tell me you didn't sing along just then. Cause I know you did.

See, I'm not weird. I'm totally normal.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Mary was a school

Maggie's version of Mary Had A Little Lamb. She sings it all day long. ALL DAY. I've tried to teach her the correct lyrics. But apparently I'm the one who is wrong because SHE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. Right.

And yes, Maggie dressed herself. This beautiful ensemble includes a Hannah Montana shirt, which Maggie is convinced is iCarly, and a Superman cape. Oh and no pants. Apparently when you get home from school it's NO PANTS time.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Yea well, they're still better than The Beibs

listening to the radio on the way to work this morning...
Grant: Why are they talking about Michael Jackson so much?
Mom: Because tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of his death.
Grant: Why are they calling him the King? I thought Elvis was the King.
Mom: Elvis is the King of Rock n' Roll. Michael Jackson is the King of Pop.
Grant: Well, they are both the King of Old People.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Micheal Phelps in Training

Grant is a confident kid. He's always been that way. He's pretty sure he is the smartest kid in his class. Or any class for that matter. He is extremely smart. But probably not the smartest ever. He always thinks he's the best on the ball field. When he is very obviously not. Same with basketball. Last year after a swim meet he was positive that he got first place. In every event. Every time. I don't necessarily encourage this attitude. But I don't really discourage it either. I mean, how great would it feel to think you are awesome at EVERYTHING. I'd be happy being awesome at just one thing.

This summer Grant is swimming for the Brookhaven Country Club Swim Team. They are a little bit more hardcore than the team he was on last year. Actually a lot more hardcore. They practice 5 days a week and have all day swim meets on Mondays. Unlike last year, you actually DQ if you do the wrong stroke or kick or anything really. It's kind of intense.

But like all things, Grant was pretty sure he would be awesome.

And he kind of was awesome. Really awesome. His form was great. His strokes were great. And he was FAST. Like really fast. I couldn't believe how much he'd grown since last year. It was amazing.

He placed in three events:

8 & Under 25 Back - FIRST PLACE
8 & Under 100 Relay Free - FIRST PLACE
8 & Under 25 Free - EIGHTH PLACE

His coaches are great. Really great. It always drove me nuts that the coaches on his last team were never in the water. How can you help with a stroke if you aren't in the water? These coaches are always in the water. They find time to help with each kid individually. I firmly believe this is why he's done so well. So YAY coaches.

And last but not least...Maggie got tired of me only taking pictures of her brother so here she was after a very long day. Saying cheeeeeeeeese.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mom

By Grant Watkins

1. I love my mom because she's the...BEST MOM EVER!

2. I love my mom because she works so hard

3. I know my mom is smart because she...yells at me.

4. I know my mom cares because she...plays with me.

5. I love my mom because she finds time little cat fell in the toilet.

6. I love to hear my mom sing...Justin Beiber's Never Say Never.

7. I love my mom because she taught me to...arm fart.

8. I love my mom when she makes me laugh by...tooooouch game.

9. I love my mom because she helps me...with homework.

10. I love my mom because she reads me...Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

This is filled with so much hilarity and inappropriateness that I don't even know where to start.